To My Sweetheart, Jon!

This post is dedicated to the love of my life, Jon. I've been thinking a lot about the upcoming holidays and how wonderful it will be to spend some time with our families. I've also been reflecting about the past several months and all that has transpired. Last night while Jon and I were in bed, he pointed out that his hair is getting thick. I looked at him and for the first time I noticed that it really was getting thick. It looks like it's a little darker too, but that could just be me. Anyway, as I was looking at his hair I reflected back on his lack of hair throughout the summer. I was so amazed at how thick his hair is now, if someone hadn't known what he had been through this summer, they wouldn't be able to tell now. He is feeling back to normal, minus the tingling in his feet and he looks healthy. As I was looking at Jon's hair I realized that when we go to Utah for the holidays, he won't look any different to most of our family. With exception to my parents, Jon's parents and his sister Heather, our families haven't seen him since his diagnosis with cancer. It will have been nine months since the last time that Jon was in Utah.

During my reflection I felt extreme gratitude for Jon's health. I am so grateful that he is doing so well and that the cancer is gone. You never expect to have your spouse come home and tell you that they have to see an oncologist, but when the day comes you just feel so numb. I didn't know what to do or think. I was truly amazed at how quickly I was able to feel the blessings of the spirit strengthening me and lifting me up. One of my worst nightmares had come true and I didn't know how to face it. We felt the spirit so strong helping us through this difficult time. From the very beginning, I knew in my heart that the biopsy results would show that he had cancer, even though I know there were many who were praying that it wouldn't be cancer. I thank you and truly appreciate all of your prayers on Jon's behalf. When we found out the exact diagnosis I was truly at peace and I knew in my heart that Jon would beat this. He told me that he felt that it wasn't his time to go, and once he told me, I believed it.

We've had some very difficult times throughout all of this. Starting out with Jon's first chemo treatment. I was furious when I came home from working out and I found out that he had gone in before we were ready. Someone forgot to tell us that his appointment had been changed. I sobbed while I took a quick shower. I was angry and scared and I didn't know what to do or how to feel. I knew I needed to be strong for Jon, but I didn't know how. I've always been the sick one and I didn't know what to do to be a strength to him. Fortunately the rest of that treatment went well and Jon and I were able to enjoy some time together talking and just sitting in silence while we read. I was so grateful that my mom was here with us that day. She gave me great advice and was such a strength to me.
As Jon went through more chemo the side effects became harder and harder to bare. Not only did he have to deal with all of that, but he also had to have surgery for an abscess that caused him so much pain. There were times I thought we would never get through this. Times that seemed like this would never end, but we were continually blessed with love and support from friends and family and with strength from the Lord. My testimony has truly been strengthened through this experience. It wore me down physically and emotionally it was so hard to see Jon going through so much pain and feeling so sick, but the Lord gave me the strength I needed to be able to care for my family. Thankfully He also blessed me with good health this year. Sophie was such a sweetheart through all of this. I know my patience was limited at times and once Jon started feeling better and started teaching again, I realized how stressful the summer had been with him being so sick. I found myself being able to be more patient with Sophie and I felt sad knowing how short I'd been with her during the summer. Luckily she is so forgiving. She is such a sweet girl and I am so grateful to have her as a part of our family.

I feel so blessed to have Jon with me today. I am so grateful that the Lord saw fit to heal Jon. I don't know what life would be like without him here. I am truly blessed to have such a sweet little girl to spend each day with. I am so grateful that I don't have to work, that I'm able to stay home and be with Sophie each day. I don't think anything could bring me more joy. I am grateful for the eternal nature of families that we have been sealed for eternity. How wonderful to know that we will always be a family no matter what happens to us on this earth. We are so blessed to have the gospel in our lives. My testimony gave me the strength I needed to get me through this difficult time. I am so grateful for all of the help from friends and ward members. What a blessing to have help with Sophie and for the many meals that were brought in. I thought I would be fine, but what a blessing it was not to have to worry about fixing dinner when Jon wasn't feeling well and Sophie was so full of energy. I want Jon to know how much I love him and how grateful I am that he is my eternal companion. I am so excited for the holidays this year and I look forward to spending many more with Jon and Sophie.